Sunday, December 21, 2008

BUY MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!

Support independent publishing: buy this book on Lulu.


My Goals

  1. Become a famous author
  2. Meet Davey Havok
  3. Have two or three kids and name them Davey, Elaine, and...something else
  4. Go to Western Washington University
  5. Get out of my hometown
  6. Get a tattoo on the inside of my left wrist
  7. Travel the world!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Treading lightly....

I get so tired of treading around eggshells.
Walking carefully so that no one is hurt.
Lately I've let loose more often; refused to accommodate my feelings for others.
And guess what. They don't like me like that.
So apparently I've been lying.
So apparently I'd have no friends if not for my acting.
Too damn bad.
I have true friends who stick by my side despite my ruthlessness.
I just hate those baby suckers who I have to watch what I say.
Only now am I realized the weak skins of some.
The tough exteriors of others.
And I'm glad I'm learning this now.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I was just wondering if anyone else does this.

So my mom bought me a magazine the other day because it had Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on the front (the costars of Twilight for all you hermits out there). I began reading it from the start, but grew bored and closed it. Today I opened it, starting at the back. I'd read each page starting at the back and going toward the front. When I would look at articles, I'd skip about the page rather than reading methodically left-to-right, top-to-bottom. The same thing happens with lists. I start at the bottom and read to the top. ???

So. I was wondering. Anyone else do this? Or do you read other things strangely? Tell me. =]

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Read that article then come back to me.

For all of those who were lazy and did not read it, it talked about girls. And their sex lives. It says that girls, on average, are losing their virginity at age 15. I am 15. I thought that rate was going down? Most girls my age are virgins with no plans of changing that status any time soon. Like me. I want to wait until marriage, for heaven's sake! I want the satisfaction of getting to senior year and being all like, "Oh, what? You guys lost it and now regret it? Well guess what! I still have mine!"

I guess it just is appalling to me. At the same time we speak of a woman's strength in today's society, here is this statistic. And it pisses me off because it makes ALL of us look bad! Why ruin an entire banana with one bruise? WHY NOT FREAKING WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE SURE ABOUT EVERYTHING AND YOUR EMOTIONS DO NOT RULE YOU??????????

High-schoolers are retards.

Monday, November 17, 2008

What I Know

In my 10th grade experiences, I've found this.

Good friends are not the ones that look cool standing next to you. They are the ones who you trust and who trust you the most.

God can be found in the most desperate of situations.

Love is unexpected, and harsh.

God doesn't ask permission to speak through you. He just does what he feels is best.

I am a Lutheran. =]

Worship can be wonderfully fulfilling. Especially when alone.

Friends do NOT have to share your religion. They're not friends if they ignore you because you love God.

And most of all:

God loves me through all the idiotic things I do.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I wonder if anyone can relate to this. =]


He is there
He holds me
He loves me unconditionally
He cradles me in my darkest hour
And holds the finest details of my life.
I give it all to Him,
Because his plan is positively,
For sure
better than mine.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


See how sad and lonely the new banner is? There are just three stick people there.

Kay, now, go read the blog below this one. I'll wait.





Done? Good.

Do you feel inspired to go do something? GOOD. Do it. Then, send me an email at and tell me what you want to do, or did. For every email I receive on this topic, I will put another stick figure on the banner. Help me feel every inch of that there banner people! You can do it!

10.27.08 EDIT: I would like to stress that this 'do something' campaign is not something FOR YOU. It was meant to be a plan to better the community, like the below post mentioned. Those of you who have already submitted a plan, thank you, and I've added your stick figure, however I realized I was not specific in my explanation of what your goal was meant to be, and I'm sorry for that.



Lately you've heard how beautifully my life has been going (Homecoming was great--I'll post pictures later), but we have to always remember that there are places in the world where poverty is much more common than middle class. Millions, if not billions, of people all of the planet are struggling to find the basic necessities of human life: food, water, shelter, and love. Children and adults both are entrapped in a society where lack of these things is the norm. It is our duty, in the middle class America, to reach out to those who cannot fend for themselves. We, who are also down in this economic struggle, need to give what little we can to those who have even less. I suppose saying it is our duty is too powerful. Rather, it is our honor, our ability, and our right to help those who need help. God tells us to love everyone. We need to follow this command. Everyone must follow this: white, black, Christian, Atheist, Hutu, Tutsi. It does not matter. We need to set life aside just for two seconds and give a little love. Let me be a dork for a moment quote Gilmore Girls, "I just hope to travel the world, spread some love, and see if it will grow." Well, since I am 15 and not able to travel without sacrificing my ideal of the need of an education, I'm spreading my love from the comfort of my own home. To do this, I've found some amazing charities which are in dire need of love. And if you are like me and like to get a little for your giving, there are many cases in which you can simply buy off their site and everything funnels directly back to the cause. Please. I'm begging you. Help.

Invisible Children. This organization tells the stories of many children in Northern Uganda. These kids are driven from their homes at night by rebel armies who force the kids to work as soldiers. If you refuse to join them, you die. If you want to go home, you die. If you show weakness at all, you die. These are not all teenagers. Some are younger than eight years old. Some are forced to kill their brother or sister or best friend. Some are used to catch other children. Here, you can join the bracelet campaign or simply buy a t-shirt. DVDs are also available to tell the story of the Invisible Children movement. If you want to see a Hollywood version, check out Fall Out Boy's "I'm Like a Lawyer.../Me & You" music video. All money goes directly back to Ugandans.

To Write Love On Her Arms. This organization centers in America and helps people struggling with depression, addiction, masochism, and suicide. Many popular rock and alternative bands including Anberlin, Paramore, Hawthorne Heights, Mayday Parade, Meg and Dia, and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus have gotten involved and work to raise money. They have also traveled to India to help with slavery. All proceeds go to helping people get out of these awful situations, and getting back to life. You can, once again, buy stuff to donate, or just send money to the address listed ont the website.

These are just two cases. Never turn down an opportunity to help someone else. Please, everyone, all three of you who check my website out. Please reach out.

Friday, October 24, 2008

My Perfect Homecoming

The night before the first big dance
I recall what I have done.
I forgot to grab a picture packet.
I forgot to sign up for a paper that tells our names.
I forgot to get you a bootineer.
(My corsage was purchased for another).
I only have two hours to get ready.
I don't know where we're going to dinner.
I'm not sure how to do my hair,
Or where I placed my necklace.
My make-up might just go all wrong.
Did I lose that wrap I used to have?
Which purse shall I wear?
I'm not a great dancer, but I guess neither is he.
Slow-dancing is always awkward; how bad with it be?
Where did I set that strapless bra?
Is the camera charged?


I'm excited. =]

Monday, October 20, 2008


He posted the lyrics to my favorite song in his status on instant messenger.

He made me laugh with a comment on my MySpace picture.

He's smart.


Good music taste.



(But not so much it's gross.)

And....I like him too. =]

I is happy.

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Chronicles Of a Brace Face

Yep. I got braces. Fun, right? Lucky it doesn't affect my fingers. I had a lisp before but NOW? God, it's atrocious. Disgustingly so.

Jade Puget mentioned "Twilight" in his blog. That was amazing to me. Don't know why.

I feel everything shifting in my world, you know? Suddenly I feel very teenage. I mean, I am teenage. But I'm not like the average boy obsessed girl. But I like this guy, you see, and now everything's kind of changing. It's like, suddenly I just want him to talk to me. Look at me during class. IM me when he's on. Contradict me when I say that I'm ugly or fat or stupid or a bad writer (okay, so he did the last one! =DDD the rest I've never said). There's a football game tonight, and my friend invited me to go to meet this guy who she thinks I'd be perfect with. I talked to him over texts today and I was just like, "Yeah, no." He's a nice guy and all. Too nice, I think. It's like I have MY guy perfectly mapped out in my head. remember that list I did a few months ago about my perfect guy? I'm going to go back and comment on those. Comparing them to my crush. =]

June 11, 2008

My guy has to read Twilight. I demand it of him. (CHECK!)

And he has to love music. Not hip-hop though. He can’t be a G. He should like my kind of music. But I’m open to suggestions. So if he wants to introduce me to other music, that’s cool. Or if we have a band that he loves but I detest, I think it’d be cute to fight over… (CHECK!)

He has to know me as well as he knows himself. And vice versa. (He knows a lot about me...)

He has to not only understand but be fluent in sarcasm. (Check!)

And a massive sense of humor is necessary. (CHECK!)

He should be a little strange. You know, so we match. But not like freakishly so. (Check!)

He should read. I mean, like, outside of Twilight. (Check!)

No drugs. No alcohol. No cutting. (CHECK!!!!!)

Being able to sing is a major plus! (Not enough data to properly assess)

Intelligence. If I can’t have conversations without him saying, “HUH?” every five seconds, then BUH-BYE. (CHECK!)

He should take me to concerts. That’d be sweet! (He would, if were were dating. And if I were allowed to go on dates. And if one of us had a car and could legally take the other around in it...)

In every dream I have about my Prince Charming, he’s always hot. So, you know, if my man could be even SLIGHTLY attractive, that’d be great. (I will quote Ella Fitzgerald: He may not be the man some girls think of as handsome...)

And a sense of style is awesome. Emo, skater, hick, prep, I don’t care. Whatever you wear, wear it well. (Not too bad. But he's not wearing socks with his sandals, so we're good)

We should ALWAYS be on the same page. (Not yet. =[)

He must respect my fears. That means no bridges, Chihuahuas, goats, or horror movies. (He knows them. But he hasn't been given the chance to prove himself here yet)

If he squeezes my sides, he must DIE. (Not yet! =])

This is a new one on my list, but he should believe in God. This ties into the one that’s two above this one. (Not yet, but I think he COULD)

I want him to do my sports with me. And attempt to teach me his. (He's not a sporty guy, and I don't really think this one applies anymore.)

Oh. He can’t hate AFI. That just doesn’t fly with me. (They're okay in his terms. But he has not listened to "Sing the Sorrow" yet)

And if I want to do dumb childish things, like watch a Disney movie, go to a carnival, or go out for ice cream, he should be 158% on board. (He'd be the first to suggest it!)

Oh my gosh what's wrong with me. I spent an entire blog talking about a BOY. D=

Sunday, September 28, 2008



Usually when I go to Youth Group, I sit for an hour and a half bored. Some ideas may be infused, some things may stick, but most are forgotten about by about 6:30 Sunday night, when the infamous question, "What's for dinner?" poses itself.

No. Not tonight.

Tonight, I got home, and was quiet the whole way home. You don't physically know me, most of you, so you wouldn't understand. But it's unusual for me to be quiet. I'm loud and crazy and stuff like that. But no. Silence. My mom asked about it and I'm just like, "Am I not allowed to be quiet? Must I be loud and boisterous all the time?" which, yes, sounds crazy mean when typed, but in a soft distant tone it didn't sound so mean. So, I get home and I call my friend. This has nothing to do with Christianity but I'm retelling a truth, so everything must be included. She didn't answer her phone, I left her a voicemail. Moving on. I get on my computer. And I add a playlist to iTunes. I call it "Inspirational". As I looked through iTunes, I didn't feel like listening to Davey relaying how crappy he feels. I didn't feel like listening to Demi preach about her love life in all its falls and rises. I didn't want to hear Kanye talk about his sex life. I wanted to hear Lacey talk about her rise to God. I wanted to listen to an unsigned band that no one knows explain how great his life was. I craved God at that moment. In the truest form I know, I wanted, needed to hear God's tellings. Music is how I live my life. So that's what I did. And then I got online, checked my email, and then began to blog to you this.

My youth pastor, Kim, gave me ideas today that made total sense. She explained to us dozens of ideas that I'd never before comprehended. Sex, God, hell, heaven, it all began to make sense. I left with, well, still questions. But I left with a sense that I'd not wasted an hour and a half of my life. I loooooved youth group today. It was amazing.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Hahahaha Nathan came back! I don't know why I find this so strange. Just the fact that anyone would want to read what a measly 15-year-old dork writes about is tremendously hilarious. Seriously.

Hahaha. Okay. Moving on.

To anyone who reads my FanFiction stories, you have permission to yell at me. I always forget, because I work on my Mac downstairs, and the computer that FanFiction likes is upstairs.

But, I'm late for play practice. So I'll blog later.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Okay, so I already posted. But I sounded totally emo in that other post, so I'm posting again. It's my blog, dammit, and I can blog twice in one day if I want. I just wanted to give some updates on my life. Happy ones.

1. Shout-out to Taryn, who said that I needed to remember to shout-out at her! Taryn, you are an amazing person. I'd be lost in the world (and algebra!) without you.

2. Shout-out to Nathan, who somehow stumbled upon my lovely blog (And if he checks here again, would you like to explain how? Because that's sort of befuddling me...) and posted on the "9/11 Special" post. It was great to hear an older person's perspective, and especially to be able to compare and contrast it with my own account.

3. I've joined a play called "A Tale of Cinderella", where I am in the chorus. BUT. I get to dance with this really cute guy. So it all works out. =]

4. Cross country's going fine. I hate it. But it's muy bien.

5. Spanish is also going quite well!

6. My favorite class this year is Global Studies and Civics, because it is the one I can most use in my life. I think it's the most important class I'm taking this year.

7. Homecoming's coming up! It's on October 25th. No date yet. (pouts in corner)

8. I'm going to Alaska next summer to visit my aunt! I'm very excited, since out of the many states I've been to, this will be my first non-continental state.

9. I'm currently reading "Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl." It's good but dull at the same time, you know?

10. It's 10:44 PM and I am going to go to bed. Goodnight!

Monday, September 15, 2008

"Untitled" Poem

I go to school, but it's not the same.
I go through the motions, it's more like a game.
I get back home and feel alone.
I almost wish no one was even home.
I cry myself to sleep for no good reason.
I try to remember a better season.
I'm mechanically driven, so impassive.
This weight rests, oh so massive.
When will this leave me? What will console me?
What will erase all these empty memories?
Grey; a state of mind, devoid of feeling.
Pallid; a state of being, endlessly reeling.

Steal it and die.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

9/11 Special

School's been going awesome. Everything is really going right sophomore year. My head is in the right spot, and I know more or less who I am. I'm really glad to be here. We got a new drama teach: his name is Mr. Morehead. He's pretty good. I just wish the class was as fun as it was last year to work with. I've also received a part in a local play: A Tale of Cinderella. I got in the chorus!

But what I'm really here to talk about is 9/11. I was 9 years old, in the third grade. I, surprisingly, remember several large points of that fateful day with perfect clarity, while the rest of the day falls unknown. I remember walking into the kitchen, and the TV was on. Now, we weren't allowed to watch TV during breakfast, cuz my brother and I would zone out and not eat. So it was strange. I do believe my mother was standing, watching the TV. I think she wore her bathrobe. She hadn't even changed.

Everything else is a fuzz. My mother explained it to me, and I, like many other kids in my grade, thought it was an accident to begin with. My mom changed that idea quickly. I got to school knowing that it was awful, what happened. All I can recall specifically from school is that this kid, Brad, said that it was, and I quote, "SO AWESOME!" That's how unreal it felt. That we could say it was awesome, like it was a movie or something.

As a side note, this Brad does not remember this moment. So clearly it meant more to me than him.

So, here's my point, let me know what you remember of this day. Did you go to school? Did your mom force you to stay home? Were you scared? Did you think it was an accident? Or, if you don't live in the United States, please let me know whether you heard at all, and what you thought.

I look forward to hearing all of your stories...

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ah Bay Say

I haven't checked in in a while! Basically I started school, so I've been way busy. But it is now FRIDAY so I'm excitered. =] I went to the first football game today. It was dull, but I had fun with my friends. The score was 40-20 (we kicked their asses =]). So now I'm sitting at home doing nothing. I should be cleaning my room...

In other news, I auditioned for a play and got a spot in the chorus. Better than nothing, right??? if you read this, you should comment. I want to know how many consistent readers I have. =]

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Songs that Always Make Me Want to Cry

"I Don't Love You" - My Chemical Romance
"Ghost of You" - My Chemical Romance
"Cold As You" - Taylor Swift
"Travelin' Soldier" - Dixie Chicks
"Endlessly, She Said" - AFI
"Wake Up, Open the Door, and Escape to the Sea" - Blaqk Audio
"Hurt" - Christina Aguilera
"What It's Like" - Everlast
"You Were Meant for Me" - Jewel
"Hands Held High" - Linkin Park
"She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
"Soulmate" - Natasha Bedingfield
"Gotta Have You" - The Weepies
"Nobody's Home" - Avril Lavigne
"Someone to Watch Over Me" - Ella Fitzgerald
"Dreaming With a Broken Heart" - John Mayer

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I finally figured out what Renesmee reminds me of. Took me long enough, but here it is:

Yes, a female Stewie. And I did that Photoshop picture myself, by the way.

Steal it, I don't care. Just let people know about my blog, would you?

And...let the raving begin.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


It started out with me coming out of the high school, since it was the last day of school. I was saying goodbye to everyone, and all the seniors were there with autograph books. It was kind of sad...but I went to get on the bus, and just before I got on, I look to the right and see Kyle, this senior I had a crush all of my freshman year. He says 'hi' and gets on MY bus. I check to make sure I'm riding the right bus (I am) and get on. I'm carrying a prom dress for some reason, which I drop halfway down the aisle and have to go pick up. I sit in the back in the seat across from Kyle. We talk, but then I go to daydreaming out the window.

This is where my dream got seriously FREAKY.

I must've fallen asleep in my dream, because I was dreaming then. In my dream in my dream, the whole thing played out like a movie. The word "Bree" came up on the screen. Yes; it was the Bree from 'Eclipse'. A little girl with blonde hair walks into the high school, which is now vacant. There is an ominous green light inside. Then a little girl with black hair wearing a red shirt walks out. She doesn't look happy.

Suddenly, I'm inside this world, and it's not a dream inside a dream anymore. It's real for me, or at least, it's real for the dream. I'm on the front field of my high school; Bree is gone. There is one van waiting for me, I walk toward it, then turn away because it's not my mom. My mom comes, and I get in the car. I'm freaking out, because out of the window of the van I saw a face. I scream when I look to the right and see Bree standing there. I tell my mother to drive. She wants to pick up the little girl because she looks lost. She looks to the right, but Bree is no longer standing there. Bree has teleported out in front of our car. Mom now realizes that this is not just a little girl, so she drives. She would've run over Bree, but Bree teleports away. I think I am rid of her, but I keep seeing the face along the road. I scream every time.

Then my dream changes page again. Poof! I'm in this room with my best friend's mom, Tammy. Tammy knows about Bree, and she says, "You're not rid of her yet."Bree and her mother walk around the corner. Tammy and I are forced to do everything the two want. We can't not do it.

So the end wasn't so freaky. But the middle was way friggin CREEPY.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Mommaaaaaaa. I don't WANNA.

Do you ever just feel so overwhelmed at the fact that your life can go so many different ways? I could do almost anything I set my mind to, and yet I choose to be a writer. I have no crystal ball, no clairvoyance, so for all I know being a writer will screw up my life and I should go with being a pharmacist. All I know is that I want to command my future, and I don't want to do the same thing every day. I'd rather be like Stephenie Meyer, stay-at-home-mom/icon. I'd rather have the choice to be creative and have fun in my life.

And I'd like to be able to be known without being known. I wanna be Sarah Dessen, not Stephenie Meyer. Is that too much to ask?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Story

I've been working on this story for about two months now. The first chapter is more or less finished, as is the epilogue, but now I'm absolutely STUCK. I know where I need to go with this story, I just can't figure out how to GET there. It's frustrating!!!

That's really all I came to say. I have no other comments. I'm just pissed that I have no idea where to take this. It's a love story, and I've never been in love, so that kind of puts a damper on any love aspects....


UPDATE: I wrote more! Writer's block banished!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Funky Mood

I'm in this kind of a mood where I:

  1. Don't want to talk to people who will just try to change my mind about what I already am concrete about.
  2. Feel like dancing, but don't feel like cleaning my room so said dancing can take place
  3. Am pissed at the world, and don't know why
  4. Feel like I have accomplished nothing all day
  5. Just feel like crap, mentally
  6. Feel disappointed in my life
  7. Wish so bad that I could just find something to fill this void I've been feeling lately
  8. Could stop having all these thoughts running through my mind
A note on #8: I haven't been thinking in complete sentences. My thoughts have been pictures, not words. This hardly ever happens. I'm a writer, so naturally my thoughts are either written or spoken, but my current thoughts are pictures. I'll try to show you what I'm seeing:


Friday, August 8, 2008

And all I want is to rock your soul...

I'm at my neighbor's house. We're pretty much doing the usual. Nothing. Exciting, right? I thought so. And now she is dancing awkward around the room to "Rock Your Soul" by Elisa. Oh. Sorry. She says it's not awkward. Just random. I'm over here waaaaaaaaaay too's quite sad...I have nothing to're going to see "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" tonight. Cool, huh?

And wow. This conversation has taken quite a strange turn...

I'd like to give a shout-out to Chaotic Cass, who said that she would check this site out. Now if only she holds true to her word.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

SYTYCD RESULTS! And my boring life...

So things are going okay, I guess. Been watching a lot of TV. Psh. Like there's anything better to do. Yesterday, I watched Gilmore Girls for several straight hours, followed by America's Got Talent! and then Legally Blonde--my mother's first viewing, to be exact. That evening I sat by my television faithfully to watch the final voting episode of a certain episode that will be revealed in exactly 26 words...Today? Well, a little less, because I was on the computer a lot today. I watched this afternoon's Gilmore Girls, and tonight I watched the So You Think You Can Dance finale. Oh, yes, this reminds me...



While I thought Chelsie was an incredible partner dancer, her solos lacked compared to the others. And while this doesn't matter all the time, in the end, you are judged on how you performed, not how you and your partner performed. Also, I believe she only got that far because everyone was still basking in the glory of her "Bleeding Love" dance. Which, yes, still makes my beat skip a beat.


Comfort was, of course, the best female hip-hop dancer hands down. She put all her passion into that genre, making many of her other dances sub-par at best. However, after she was reinstated in the competition when Jessie fractured some ribs, I believe she really pulled it together. When she was voted off, the second time, I think she left when honor and pride, more so than when she left previously.


Oh my Edward Cullen. Nearly every dance that Courtney did was incredible to me, including the first dance I ever saw, "Lost". She put her heart and soul into the dance, and even though she wasn't the most technical dancer by a long shot, she was my favorite. I think she is adorable and passionate and skilled. I could've sworn she was a contemporary dancer, so I was shocked to find she was a jazz dancer in the end!


Gev. Poor poor Gev. =[ I was so so sad when he went home, because I always thought his solos were the BEST. He left it all on the dance floor, and was an amazing B-Boy, no like a know a lot, you know, but STILL. It especially helped that he was Courtney's partner, so he was there on that first episode I watched where they performed "Lost".

Why did that write out as a hyperlink? Where does it lead? =/

Anyways, I though Katee should've won the show. She was the most technical dancer out of the top four, and she was just so fun and energetic. I was very shocked when Katee did not win. I would've voted for her, but when I asked my brother what the number was, he's like, "1-866-TEMPO-0?". But noooo. It's not 866. It's 888. =[ Katee's amazing, and I think Joshua brought out the best in her, though that dance with Will was pretty good, too. Not as good, just pretty good.


There was all this hype about how good Kherington was, but I only remember three GREAT performances, a few good ones, and a lot of really bad ones. That two step number? And the jazz one? GAH. She was a great ballerina, but I don't know. Something about her just never quite 'clicked' for me.

MARK: <3

Ah, Mark. Fit to say that he left while in the Top 6, because I think that's exactly where he fit. I loved Mark's personality and style. I actually hope my future who-I'm-meant-to-be-with-forever has a little bit of Mark in him, because Mark is so talented, but strange too. He's just so cool and weird but PERFECT. I have to admit that I have a little thing for him. =]


He wasn't really my favorite, but he really stepped it up when he got to about the Top 8. Starting blowing me away, in fact. I looooved the dance he did with Joshua on the voting finale. INSANE. I could never do that. If you did not watch that, I strongly suggest you go hunt it down and watch it. He's incredible for a street dancer. Hell, he's incredible for ANYONE.


Will was by far the most techincal boy. He blew me away every time, but looking back, I realize that his performances lacked soul sometimes. I believe that he could've won very easily if the Chris Daugh try Syndrome had not happened to him, but I am very glad of who DID win. Loved the Adam and Eve thing, though.


Though I fully looooove Mark, I definitely love Joshua too. He was just so good at everything he did, and he and Katee had such chemistry onstage. I screamed, "YES!" when he won! I was so excited!

Sorry for the concise-ness, but I was supposed to be off the computer five minutes ago, so BYE!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Giving in to the cold caress of 12 AM...

I'm in one of those moods where I'm just kind of like bleh. It's that time of the evening for me when my mind begins to spill open like a cup with too much water. My thoughts go everywhere. My eyes want to shut, but I refuse to allow them to do so. Everything feels good, but very very bad all at the same time. Life wants to end, to quiet itself so no one can disturb you in your more vulnerable time. It's like an open diary behind glass, trying to protect itself from the world's waiting eyes, but failing miserably.

Today felt lost. It's like, I did all these things, but still, I did nothing. I did homework. I did my Bible study. I went to the fair. But it felt robotic, like there was no feeling in any of it.

I feel myself changing, kind of. I used to be super talkative, hyper, and happy. I used to be so, so willing to share my thoughts with anyone who will listen. "How do you feel right now?" someone would ask. "I feel GREAT!" I would respond very truthfully. "What are you thinking about?" someone would pry. And I'd plunge into a deep description. But now it's different. "What are you thinking?" "Nothing," I lie, because I don't want to explain the truth. "How are you feeling?" "Fine," I'll respond, because that one word is easier to say than the truth, that I'm feeling such a hodge-podge rush of emotions that I sometimes cannot even properly pin down my feelings. It's personal, and people get so offended when you simply don't want to tell them those personal thoughts. Why, though? My feelings and thoughts are my own. There are no mind-readers out there who can penetrate my mind and force me to explain every emotion, thought, or detail of my life. And I'm quite thankful for that.

And sometimes, I believe I can mind-read myself. I get this feeling like something's going to happen, and though my inferences are not always right on, they kind of are close. Last night, I thought, "Something big will happen tomorrow." Today, I go on a Ferris Wheel for the first time. A BIG ONE. So maybe that's not quite mind-reading, but it felt big to me. Another time, I thought, "I feel like I'm going to walk away from this experience with a new crush." And I did. Sometimes I think I know what someone will say before the words leave their mouth. Sometimes I'm scary right.

But maybe I just have a good grasp on human nature.

I fell in love with this new song. It's very innovative, and I listen to it at least 20 times a day. The song can be heard here.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

My Opinions of "Breaking Dawn"



I, of course, bought the Eclipse Special Edition, hoping that that first chapter would be a signal that good things will coming. This chapter went back to its roots. In Eclipse, you were on the edge of your seat with wonder as to what happens in Seattle that's so significant. In New Moon, you couldn't wait to see whether someone would bite Bella and she would turn vamp right there and then. But, in Twilight, at least you were wondering what was up with this Edward Cullen dude. In Breaking Dawn, you're just bored. The wedding scene slightly picks up, but then the honeymoon scene. GAH. I didn't really like it. It seemed dumb to me, the way they did it. And then it seemed like Bella turned into a sex fiend afterward. Even the quote of the day "Why am I covered in feathers?" turned into not being as funny as it could have been. There wasn't much funny about any part of this book, maybe just a couple parts. Not nearly as witty as its predecessors.

Then it splits into parts! We end the first part with a desperate call to Rosalie, because, guess what! Bella's pregnant! Yes, indeedy-o, folks! Pregnant! All those times you reviewed a FanFiction story saying, "This can't happen! Stephenie Meyer says it can't!" Well, she lied. The whole first part actually reads a lot like a FanFiction story. Don't get me wrong! If you put this on, you would definitely like it! But I've read so many Bella-pregnant stories that it seemed like I'd already read Breaking Dawn Part One.

Part Two gets better. This isn't from Bella's perspective. It's from Jacob's. Now, when Stephenie plunged us into Jacob's POV in Eclipse, it felt awkward because you were soooooo used to reading from Bella's perspective. This time, watching Jacob's perspective is appreciated after the annoyance Bella has been to me. He supplies good sarcasm, good ideas, and is just a good person. However, Bella still managed to get on my nerves in this section. Stephenie did something that's purely FanFiction material: she stole lines from a TV show! You never do that! It annoyed me to no end! And Rosalie! GOD! The only thing she cares about is Bella's baby, even though that baby is killing her from the inside out. She pissed me off too. And Alice wasn't even there! This whole section could've been much worse if told from Bella's perspective, but since it's from Jacob, it's OK.

Part Three really picks up. FINALLY Edward changes her. Everthing's just as you expect it to be: Bella is hardly tempted by human blood, Edward loves her, the Volturi come. So, there's a couple twists, I guess. The Volturi just come to kill Bella's daughter, because they think she is an immortal child. And Jacob finally imprints! On who? Bella's DAUGHTER. OME.

So, basically? Breaking Dawn? A 700 page long FanFiction.

Sorry Twi-hards.

Sorry Stephenie Meyer. Sincerely and completely.

Let's hope the next thing we're waiting for, The Twilight Movie, will be better, because I didn't like it.

(+)(+)( )( )( )( )

Friday, August 1, 2008

A Letter I'll Never Send

Dear J.D.B.,

I cannot say that what I did to screw up our friendship was not stupid. I cannot say that I can think of a reason that can fully apologize for my mistake. I cannot say that I don't regret it. I hate that it screwed up our friendship, I wish I could find you so I can apologize, and it's the one thing in my life that I regret.

I live with a notion that every action we take is extremely important. Every misstep, mistake, and misunderstanding leaves us to pick up the pieces. Every bad idea is one more chance to learn. This is the only thing I can look back on that I regret. Yes, I regret not voting for Danny Noriega a lot more in American Idol so he would've had a fair chance, but I regret this millions of times more. Danny Noriega didn't affect my life. You did.

Everyone always said they hated you. Everyone always complained that you were unfair, unorganized, and inappropriate. I agreed with the first two fully, but I don't think you were inappropriate. You simply wanted a connection with us, so when you told us that we were in your dreams, we construed it as creepy but you us wanted to know that we were there. Dreams are simply you're mind's way of sorting things out, not your mind showing you your deepest desires. So the dreams were not creepy, just there. It's as simple as that. They were there.

And guess what, man? Breaking Dawn, the fourth book in the Twilight Saga that you so despised, is coming out tonight. I will be there at the party, and as I read and reread it, I will most likely think of you. Would you have heard the ending to this one thousands of times as well? Would you have been sick of it even though you'd never read it?

I've got to say that I wish I could see you again. While I know this is irrational and, above all, impossible, but I wish things had gone differently. I wish I was not a fifteen-year-old prone to peer pressure. I wish I could change what I did so everything would be okay.

But I don't think I'll ever be able to find you. And even if I do, will you still speak to me? Will you accept my apology? Will you feel too awkward to even try to forge a relationship?

You left without word. So this is my word, my explosion of inner thoughts and feelings that will forever be contained beneath a calm mask of composure. This is me. And I'm sorry 'me' screwed up.

Alyson May

Thursday, July 31, 2008

23 Things I Want to Say to People, But Don't

  1. If your MySpace status is about me, I have three things to say to you. One: I don't feel the same way. Two: GET OVER IT. And three: OMG. You're IMMATURE. If it's not about me, then congrats to you. You've learned to move on.
  2. Just bite her already.
  3. She's changed you. I miss the old you. You're just so critical now. And whiny. And, I love you, but you're being hella annoying.
  4. If you're out there, I wish you'd let me know...
  5. Sometimes you border on childish and immature, but I still love you more than my own existence.
  6. You're the only friend I have who I can spend an extremely extended amount of time with, ever. Thank you for being there for me, always.
  7. Deary, you are the sweetest thing I know. You can be reckless, and stupid, and rush into things, but you are the one I talk to about all the hard stuff. I hope you and I can get some things sorted sometime soon.
  8. Seriously? You're not incredibly smart. You're not incredibly beautiful. And you're not incredibly gifted in extra talents. So get off your friggin high horse.
  9. You've gotta be kidding. Marriage? Psh. You're insane.
  10. The reason I never answer your IMs? Because you're dull and we have nothing to talk about. Sorry, man, but that's the way it is. Ask me tomorrow, and you may get a nicer answer.
  11. You ask girls out on a whim, just because you want a girlfriend so bad. It's not their fault they don't like you that way. Just learn to have a crush, okay? It feels nice sometimes.
  12. I told you I loved you when I didn't. I kissed you when I didn't really want to. I held onto you when all I wanted to do was shove you away. I'm a horrible bitch. Forgive me, please.
  13. Stop playing your game with him. You don't love him the way he loves you, so stop toying with him before I get my band of make-believe characters to kick your ass. (Word to the wise, the said band includes but is not limited to vampires, werewolves, winged bird-kids, time-travelers skilled in kicking people's butts, and a wolf/human hybrid some would call "Erasers.")
  14. What we had last summer was nothing but wishful thinking. It's not like we ever did anything except talk on the phone. And we weren't even great at talking on the phone. You asked me how far I would go with you while I asked you real questions. I already knew the answers to all of the ones you asked me.
  15. Oh, so you speak with God personally? You know exactly what he meant by every verse in the Bible? Please, do enlighten me, as I was not aware that you have been so blessed by the Lord Almighty.
  16. I kind of liked you, but I'm fine with the way things turned out, because, let's face it, you're not what I need.
  17. Mrs. Peterson made me LIKE science. Thanks, Teach, you ruined that for me.
  18. I'm sorry for what happened. It was stupid and ridiculous, and when you really think about it, not that bad. But I wish it hadn't screwed up what was turning into a friendship. It was my fault. And I'm sorry.
  19. You gave me the confidence I needed to pursue my dream. I hope you're right. I hope this works. And if it does, remember it was YOU would gave me that shove by saying you thought I could when you have no idea.
  20. You were a bitch to her. Why?
  21. You went out with her. You slept with her. You ignored her. Then you broke up with her. Smart, man. Not a good way to keep a girlfriend, now is it?
  22. Asshole.
  23. I didn't mean to alienate you. All I wanted was someone else there with us. We won't leave you at the party. I love you!

I won't say who any of them are, so don't ask. I will say that nine are female, and fourteen are male. This is just my little bitch moment. Sorry if I seem, well, bitchy to anyone out there. =]

Tuesday, July 29, 2008



So basically, that didn't work out at all with that boy, but it was kind of nice to have a crush on someone for once. Kind of a different perspective, like there is hope for this young thing after all. But, as the Backstreet Boys say, "Life goes on. It never ends."


I'm working on this story that I'm going to TRY to finish and publish. It has more potential than anything I've ever done, and I'm actually filling up notebook pages with excess information on the story that I may or may not use and working out kinks and plot endings. This is more advanced than I've ever gone. I'm sorry, but I will NOT post any piece of the story for fear that it will get stolen, which will piss me off and God knows no one wants to piss me off, right? Right. I'm still working on it. I've got thirteen 12-point Times New Roman font pages and still growing quickly.


I wanted to read all three books in the Twilight Saga before Breaking Dawn came out on the first, but it looks like I'll only get Twilight and part of New Moon finished because I procrastinated and didn't read enough. I'll keep you posted on that.


Yep. I'm going to one on Friday/Saturday. Friggin can't wait either. =]

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

About the last two posts

I had several commenters be confused by my last two posts. The song lyrics were meant to describe how my life was going. "Jessie's Girl" is about a guy who likes his friend's girlfriend. I am a girl who likes her friend's boyfriend. Then I added "Stop This Song" because that was how I felt that day. Just clearing things up.

Monday, July 14, 2008

How I Feel NOW

OneCoolNerd: Another song. Seeing this dictates how quickly my life moves.

You say the sweetest things and I
Can't keep my heart from singing along to the sound of your song
My stupid feet keep moving to this 4/4 beat, I'm in time with you
Whoa, to this 4/4 beat I would die for you (die for you)

(Someone stop this)
I've gone to far to come back from here, but you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me

Won't someone stop this song, so I won't sing along
Someone stop this song, so I won't sing..

I never let love in so I could keep my heart from hurting
The longer that I live with this idea, the more I sink into this 4/4 beat
I'm in time with you
Whoa, to this 4/4 beat I would die for you (stop this song)

I've gone to far to come back from here, but you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me
I've come to far to get over you, and you don't have a clue
You don't know what you do to me

Can't someone stop this song, so I won't sing along
Someone stop this song, so I won't sing

Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me if I don't sing

It creeps in like a spider
That can't be killed, although I try and try to
Well, don't you see I'm falling?
Don't wanna love you, but I do

(Lovesick melody) Can someone stop this song, so I won't sing along?
(Lovesick melody) Can someone stop this song, so I won't sing?
Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight
But you won't get to me, no
You won't get to me 'cause I won't sing

Credits: Written by Paramore*, Produced by ???**, courtesy of Fueled By Ramen, 200?***

* Since this song is not on a mainstream album, I could not find if it was written by Hayley, Josh, Zac, Jeremy, a combination of those, or an outside force.

** Since this song is not on a mainstream album, I could not find the producer for this song. RIOT! was produced by David Bendeth and Josh Janick

***Since this song is not on a mainstream album, I could not find the exact year. Assume it's somewhere between 2005 and 2008

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Flip it around to discover how I feel.

Jessie is a friend,
yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her
in his arms late,
late at night

You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that
I play along with the charade,
there doesn't seem to be
a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
but the point is probably moot
'Cos she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
And he's holding her
in his arms late, late at night

Like Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman,
where can I find a woman like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
wondering what she don't see in me
I've been funny,
I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
love supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a woman like that

You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I want Jessie's girl,
where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl

Credits: Written by Rick Springfield, Performed by Rick Springfield, Produced by Keith Olsen, RCA Records 1981

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Soccer vs. Cross Country

GAH!!!!! Once again, I am faced with a pointless delima which means nothing to half of the people in the universe. The problem? Oh, well simple, my dear blog viewers. Sports.

Yes, sports. I am not a sporty girl. I don't enjoy most athletics. But this year, I am faced with the issue of which sport to play: cross country or soccer. So, because I am a nerd and these are the kinds of things nerds do, I will debate. Against myself. Oh, joy.



  1. I've done soccer for AT LEAST five years.
  2. I was on the first ever middle school girls' soccer team
  3. Getting the ball in the goal past the goalie is possibly the best feeling there is.
  4. I'll probably make JV, which will be more fun.
  5. And, oh yeah. I <3 it.


  1. I'll be on varsity and letter.
  2. It'll make Mr. Oliver happy
  3. I have a few friends on the team...maybe...
  4. REALLY good for my body
  5. Short practices
  6. You make friends with people you compete against
  7. I have a friend on the Toledo team who I won't see if I do soccer
  8. There's kinda sorta a boy on the cross country team who I kinda sorta like



  1. Practices suck.
  2. There are girls on the team I don't much like
  3. Do I even have any friends on the team?
  4. I won't letter. I'm sure.
  5. shin guards + soccer socks + 90 degree weather = HOTHOTHOT


  1. I hate running.
  2. Jamie moved away. Suddenly things are much less exciting.
  3. None of my extremely close friends are on the team
  4. I hate running
  5. I hate running
  6. I hate running

Input please!

Monday, July 7, 2008

My Life.

Thanks to anyone who has visited my page and commented! I'd thank those of you who visited my page and DIDN'T comment, but then, I don't know you visited. So you see my issue. What does that tell us, folks? COMMENT.

I added a new chapter to Whatever Happened to JJ? My best yet, if I do say so myself. Well on that story. And since there's only three chapters, there's a one-in-three chance of that being true. Nonetheless, I liked it.

Moving on. I just want to know, am I getting repeat views? Like, do you viewers come on every now and then, or all of the time? Just wondering.

Saw WALL-E. It rocked. As I expected it would.

Friday, July 4, 2008

My July 4th Update.

Yeah, so basically, this is just checking in. Letting you know what's going on in my life. And that kind of stuff.

Today is July Fourth!!!!!!!!!!! Whooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! And everyone else on the planet has plans but me!!!!!!!!! Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding. Only Americans have big whoo-worthy Fourth of July plans. Everyone else in the world may have whoo-worthy fourth of July plans, but they're not Fourth of July plans.

Did you catch that little capitalization joke? Cuz that took wit, man.

I've been chilling at home, mostly. I was invited by one of my friends to go to Vegas and see a LIVE show of The Phantom of the Opera. You even get to put on dresses and do your hair pretty and stuff like that. But since I have frigging DRIVERS' ED I can't go. Damn.

I did a mass update on FanFiction. Or at least, I consider it a mass update. Every active story (minus The Truth is Hard to Handle because I am NEVER going to finish it) was updated. I even have ideas for what comes next for Whatever Happened to JJ? Just letting you know, though, that When a Winged Girl Meets a Magic Boy is going to be filler for a bit because they need to kind of get to California before I can complete the next phase of their adventure. I may even choose to continue the Delilah/Kyle plotline. Think so?

Yeah, so basically, I am hoping to go to Australia. Next year. PLEASE GOD HELP ME WITH THIS!!!!!!!! Anyone live in Australia? Maybe we could meet up or something like that. That'd be pretty sweet man.

I say 'man' a lot. I should stop that.

I found this awesome band! They're name is Tokio Hotel! And if you're like any of my friends, you tell me you've already heard of them and make me feel like an uninformed pathetic loser! But I found them by searching for music by Blaqk Audio and ended up buying a song called "Ready, Set, Go! (AFI/Blaqk Audio Remix" by Tokio Hotel off of iTunes. It was the kind of thing where you can't buy the individual song, just the album, and the album was only 99 cents, so I thought, Why not? And then I previewed the rest of the the band's stuff--one other disc called "Scream!"--and ended up loving it! That's when I decided to do some research. Tokio Hotel have been together since the guys were only teenagers. They originate out of Germany, and you can even buy two other albums in hard-copy that they released before "Scream!" They're called "Schrei" and "Zimmer 483". My translation skills (which include using tell me the following:

Schrei = Scream
Zimmer 483 = Rooms 483

Wikipedia tells me that I am correct.

Soooooo what's up with you? =]

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Driving/Camp Rock/Rocking/Songs/Pie/Tess

So, yeah, I'm basically WAY excited. I register for drivers' ed tomorrow, and get my permit/start class on Tuesday. I'm way scared though. I'm worried I'm overcorrect and break something...

I'm watching Camp Rock again. I so wish I could go to Camp Rock. I'd love it, though I'm not an insanely talented singer. Maybe I'd play guitar in a band. That'd be just as fun. Though I'm not incredible at that either... I'd just love to be in a band. But I don't know any singers that live in my area, or I'd totally have them sing my songs.

Yes I write songs.

I just had some of my momma's key lime pie. It was amazing. EXCELLENT. I want more, dude.

God, Tess is such a BITCH. Maybe?

Um....I had something big to talk about....and now I, right!!!!!


I am going to review it. Cuz this is MY blog and I can do whatever the hell I friggin want to! (like eat breakfast...I need to do that....)

Kay, so basically, it was AWESOME. I loved every single song, with the exception of "We Rock" at the end. My favorite was "Here I Am" by Renee Sandstrom. The plot was believable, and it was a wonderful Cinderella story. I DO think that it could've been done better if it was in, say, MTV's hands. Some lines were very cliche and others just random. And the romance between Mitchie and Shane was kind of lame. Especially at the end.....

All in all, though, it was definitely my favorite Disney Channel Original Movie. It's still saved on my TiVo, to be watched again at my leisure. =]

Kay, so the reason I haven't updated in FOREVER is because I don't know what to blog about. So, if you have a topic, send it to along with some sort of name (it can be something like Suzie or something like jibbers1029, I don't care) so I can credit you. I need ideas. I got nothing.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

How to Post a Comment

Otay, so lots of people have been asking me how to post a comment here. Well, the people I know at least. So, for all you people on FanFiction who I can't just call and tell how to do it, here it is:

  1. Click the hyperlink at the bottom that says "[insert number here] comments". This will take you to a page where you will see the comments on the left and the add comment box on the right.
  2. The add comment box will automatically be set to "Google/Blogger". Kay, so this is where most people get tripped up. They think, "Darn. I have to have a google or blogger account. Can't post a comment." BUT instead, you simply click a different bubble!
  3. If you want your name to appear, click the third bubble down that says "Name/URL". Insert your name and your URL if it tickles your fancy, then type in your comment and click "Publish Your Comment.
  4. OR if you wish to remain anonymous, click the bottom bubble that says "Anonymous". Then type your comment and click "Publish Your Comment"
Hope this clears things up! =]

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Alyson May's Worst List

The Top Worst Things of Music, Movies, Books, and More (in no particular order)

1. Corbin Bleu "Another Side"
2. ZoeGirl "ZoeGirl"
3. Various Artists "Songs From Instant Star 3"
4. Linkin Park "Reanimation"
5. TLC "CrazySexyCool"

1. "Hey Ya" by Outkast
2. "Nan, You're a Window Shopper" by Lily Allen
3. "I Have Friends in Holy Spaces" by Panic at the Disco
4. "Silence" by Aly and AJ
5. "Superstar" by Sonic Youth

1. The White Stripes
2. Ashley Tisdale
3. Anyone hip-hop except Kanye West
4. Ashlee Simpson (minus her first CD)
5. Paris Hilton

1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Borat
3. High School Musical 2
4. Eragon
5. Harry Potter 4

1. Criss-Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins
2. Animal Farm by George Orwell
3. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

1. ponchos
2. gauchos
3. stretchy pants
4. denim dresses
5. clogs

Feel free to add your own lists of these things or more!!!!!

My Twilight Story

This is the tale of how I got into Twilight. For most people within the last year or so, it's just, "Oh, yeah, my friend told me about it. Actually she FORCED me to read it..." but mine's a bit more exciting! So here we gooooo.....

It was probably early summer or before when I first heard of Twilight. It was by my friend Sara (who I met on a cruise in 6th grade) who told me she'd read it, that it was the best book EVER, that I had to read it, and that she'd written a fanfic about it. I think she explained the basic premise of the book, but I skimmed over it in our emails--I wasn't a real avid read until last summer. I even saw it at Target several times, since the book was becoming quite popular then. I read the back once. "Vampires?" I thought, or maybe I said it aloud, "EWWWW. I'm never reading this book." I practically threw it back on the rack and proceeded with my Saturday shopping.

It was probably late August that I actually picked up Twilight and BOUGHT it. My family was going to a baseball game (I dislike watching any sport except hockey so I was looking for something to do in the two/three hours that the game would last.) and we stopped at a mall for one reason or another. There was a WalMart, so I decided to stop there, because I wanted to buy one thing and only one thing: AFI's CD Decemberunderground. Of course, while my brother dilly-dallied looking for HIS music, I wandered over to the books. I had two in my hand: Twilight in one and I think it was Sold in the other (which I still haven't bought). I debated, then decided to buy Twilight only because it was longer and would take me more time. I hopped back in the car and did not crack open Twilight. INSTEAD I unwrapped the AFI CD. This took me a good five minutes or so--I really suck at opening those damn things! So when it was open, I asked my mom and dad if we could listen to it, at least the two songs I knew. She tossed it in and "Prelude 12/21" came on. My brother and I sang along happily; we knew every word. Then "Kill Caustic" came on. I believe I abruptly covered my ears. Oh, the shrieking! Oh, the loud guitar! Oh, the talk of killing yourself and meds! My parents looked at each other and smiled. "We might steal this from you," my mom said. (They hate AFI now, by the way.) We skipped to "Miss Murder", where my brother and I began to sing along again. The CD was popped out after that.

We reached the stadium. I grimaced. Stupid baseball anyway. I began the book, reading the preface, then reading it over three times more. Then I passed it to my family and made them read it. Seriously, man, that's a friggin good preface. I continued after that. But I didn't read much after that because baseball games are loud and you can't concentrate on books while reading them.

I finished Twilight about three days later, only because I was sure Bella had a nasty demise at the end. I thought the guy in the seriously-man-that's-a-friggin-good-preface was Edward and thought that by reading the book SLOWLY I could prolong Bella's death. I read the bulk of it while my parents were grocery shopping the next day and my brother was on MySpace (we weren't allowed to have them yet, so he went on while Mom and Dad were gone). I kept laughing out loud--yes, I was literally LOLing--and reading parts to my bro.

I read Twilight another time before I got New Moon the next day. =]

Since then, my obsession has grown and expanded. I gave my WalMart copy to three more people before it got destroyed and Twilight Fanatic Number Three bought me a new one. I've gotten SOOOO many more people addicted. I am a proud Twihard. =]

P.S. I listened to AFI about a month later and LOOOOVED them. Well....the songs with no screaming. Now I listen to their music relentlessly and own four CDs. I am anxiously awaiting the next CD and EP.

Monday, June 9, 2008

YAY! Someone commented yesterday! Thank you, Ujlee!!!!!! I am VERY happy that you commented! It really is hard to get a website off the ground, you know? But I'm doing my very best.

Today was a crappy day. I was sleepy and in a shitty mood all day. Which is very abnormal for me, because I'm almost always in a positive mood. I'm also sad that my English teacher is leaving. It was hard for me for a while because he isn't an amazing teacher, but now it's like, "WOW. I'm going to miss that man." I'm introducing him to Blaqk Audio, one of my favorite bands.

Ah. Nothing to talk about. Hm....subjects...subjects... don't know..............grrrrr......

Hey, if anyone actually reads this, tell me what to talk about. I got nothing.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

101 Random Things About Me

  1. I hate tomatoes.
  2. I have an irrational fear of walking across bridges because I think they will crumble and I will die.
  3. I also have an irrational fear of chihuahuas.
  4. And goats.
  5. I get into conversations about feet and farts with my best friends.
  6. One of my best friends and I have the relationship of Juno and Leah from the movie Juno. She is Leah and I am Juno.
  7. I have read Twilight 7 times.
  8. I have watched High School Musical AT LEAST 30 times. (I stopped count after about 23)
  9. I keep lists of the number of pages I read over summer. Last year it was around 6,000. I'm aiming for 10,000 this year.
  10. When I was a baby, I couldn't sleep on my back because when I did, my arms would fold in and I would startle awake and cry. For my parents' sanity, I was allowed to sleep on my stomach.
  11. I loooove Gilmore Girls. Lane is my favorite character.
  12. I would like to go on a foreign exchange trip to Germany my junior year. I have $90 saved up.
  13. My first son WILL be named Emmett.
  14. I will not name any of my sons Edward or Jacob for the sole reason that I when I hear the names "Edward" and "Jacob" I think, "Ooooo SEXY." And I shouldn't think that way of my children.
  15. I didn't like electronica until I listened to Blaqk Audio.
  16. Most of the kids in my grade hate our English teacher, but I think he's cool.
  17. My favorite flowers are daisies.
  18. My favorite colors are red and yellow.
  19. I don't like most movies that came out before the 80's.
  20. I think Audrey Hepburn is just about the prettiest woman I've ever seen.
  21. If I could meet anyone on the entire planet, it would be Davey Havok.
  22. If I could bring any fictional character to life it would Cullen, Jacob Black, Fang, Farid, or Ian. (Twilight, Twilight, Maximum Ride, Inkheart, and The Host.)
  23. I have relationship issues. I date for about a month then get bored and want out.
  24. I used to want to have kids right after college. Now I want to wait.
  25. My friends say I'm mean when I'm exhausted, as proven by when I had the Baby Think It Over Baby Simulator. I hated that thing. =[
  26. I wish the person on FanFiction (can't remember her name at the moment) who wrote "Kind Of Since Forever" would update.
  27. My favorite story on all of FanFiction is "Rockin' With the Runaway" by Nibzo.
  28. I play guitar and write songs.
  29. At school, I run cross country (though I'd rather play soccer) and play tennis. I suck at all three sports.
  30. I work off a Mac.
  31. I wish more people would comment.
  32. I am a dedicated reader of
  33. ...and of
  34. I watched Mulan today.
  35. My ultimate dream is to become a writer.
  36. I think I am bipolar.
  37. I want to be a guitarist in a band.
  38. If I ever become famous, I don't want to be like Miley Cyrus and have everyone in the universe know me.
  39. My favorite store to shop at for clothes is Ross.
  40. I have little or no life.
  41. My latest ex-boyfriend (whom I broke up with two weeks ago) has not talked to me for two weeks even though I still want to be friends.
  42. I am unsure where I stand with a boy who likes me and lives in California.
  43. I AM sure that my best guy friend from MY state likes me. And I don't like him that way.
  44. I sleep with my favorite stuffed animal every night. His name is Bob and he's a monkey.
  45. My birthday is April 12, 1993.
  46. My favorite Disney movie is The Little Mermaid.
  47. I think the Disney movies now are LAME.
  48. Sometimes on MSN messenger, I say I am offline when I'm not so I don't have to talk to people.
  49. I love my brother. He is my Ross and I am his Monica.
  50. I won't truly miss any of the seniors who left school this year.
  51. I will bawl my eyes out when senior year comes.
  52. I am wearing black beat-up Converse, white athletic socks, dirty Levis, a black Target jacket, a red shirt with stereos on it that I got from Ross, a black wife-beater, and my medical ID necklace.
  53. I am allergic to penicillin/augmentin, which is why I wear the medical ID necklace.
  54. If you hop on over to and check out the guitar pick medical ID necklaces, that is the one I am wearing. I also submitted the idea for it.
  55. Because my town is so small, I am marveled by towns that have 10,000 people.
  56. There is a pencil sharpener on my desk shaped like a nose.
  57. I wish I had gum right now...
  58. I don't like watching movies, because I have trouble sitting still.
  59. I fell asleep during the last five minutes of one of the Lord of the Rings.
  60. In fact, I paid so little attention to the afore said Lord of the Rings movie that I don't remember which one it was.
  61. Remember how I said I was afraid of goats? That's because when I was little, a goat came and chewed on my flowered dress. Grrrr damn goats!
  62. I am a Christian.
  63. Converse is my favorite brand of shoe.
  64. I wear a size 4 in Converse.
  65. My left foot is bigger than my right.
  66. I suck at Calligraphy.
  67. I hold my pencil strangely.
  68. I tried to hold my pencil the correct way on Thursday and my pinkie finger hurt for an hour afterward.
  69. We get out of school on this Thursday!
  70. I am having a TV dinner for dinner tonight.
  71. I have never been high or drunk, and that fascinates some kids at my school.
  72. My town is a hick town. If you don't know what Romeos or Carharts are, you're a freak.
  73. My English teacher that I mentioned in number 16? Yeah, he didn't know what Romeos or Carharts were when he came to the school. He does now.
  74. I'm mad at Eve because she is the one who made childbirth painful.
  75. I am opinionated.
  76. I don't like Hillary Clinton. She looks very FAKE.
  77. I like Barack Obama. He's cool and he can DANCE.
  78. There is a song called "Faken" by a band called Seather. Not "Fake It" by Seether, but "Faken" by Seather. Weird, right?
  79. I hate pickles.
  80. I think Subway has gross olives.
  81. I am slow to say I hate a band, but I HATE the White Stripes.
  82. I love the movie She's the Man!
  83. My favorite charity is Invisible Children.
  84. I just watched an episode of the Nickelodeon show H2O.
  85. I have a friend who will not let her children watch Nickelodeon because it's 'inappropriate.'
  86. That same friend is my best friend.
  87. And me and my other best friends are throwing her a sweet sixteen this November.
  88. My parents don't know I have this blog.
  89. I really want to vlog, but my parents won't let me.
  90. My desk is VERY messy.
  91. I created an art project based on Twilight.
  92. I am very artistic.
  93. I own three American Girl dolls: Kit, Kaya, and one that looks like me that I named Emily.
  94. My cousins Emily and Madison adore me.
  95. I spilled soy sauce today.
  96. Yesterday I sat on a Milk Dud and it stuck to my sweatpants.
  97. I was going to tell you the CDs in my CD player, but there are none.
  98. I have subscriptions to the magazines Alternative Press and Seventeen.
  99. I have YouTube subscriptions to xemobanditx, FueledByRamen, sumfight, MaxRideTV, flyleafmusic, codyrapol, 5secondruletv, NoMoreMarbles, OfficialTwilightFilm, and edwardbellanet.
  100. You can email me anytime at
  101. My bedtime is 11 PM on school nights and midnight on non-school nights.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Kay, I'm back. Nice run, nice run. Still trying to get in shape for cross country, you know. We ran about half a mile and walked about half a mile. But that's my first run in about four months, mind you. I'll do better next time, I swear! Anyways.

I posted a little thingymajigger on FanFiction alerting everyone of this blog. Did anyone see it? I suppose I'll see if someone posts saying they saw it, huh? Yeah, that'd make sense...

I'm currently reading "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer. I'm pretty much addicted to it. It's awesome. It's taken me a ridiculously long time to finish though. Typically, I finish books in days...this one has taken me four just to get halfway. But I've been busy. So that's my excuse! Haha! Seriously, though, I think people are getting sick of hearing me talk about it. I was like, "Oh my gosh, this book is so good! You have to read it! It's amazing!" My friend Ashlie was like, "Oh great. Another Twilight."

Just proving my nerdosity to you all!

Anyways, I'm sitting here writing this, listening to my favorite band AFI. Anyone else like them? Cuz I'm seriously the only one of my friends who does. Everyone else hates them. They're 'too loud' and 'scream too much' apparently. Well...yes...they're loud. That's why my hearing sucks. But isn't the line "For a change, I'll refrain from hiding all of me from you" beautiful? Better than "Smack that, all along the floor". There's SUBSTANCE. Not SEXUALITY.

Not to degrade anyone's music. I hate it when people tell me that they don't like my music, so I'll try not to put down anyone else's. Deal? Good.

So I'm kind of just rambling right I'm gonna go...BYES!

Today..., I obviously created this account! YAYS! that I have absolutely no people reading this, well, WHO CARES! Haha here are a couple of rueles for this site:

1) No degrading language.
Treat others as you would wish to be treated. I don't care about cussing, but DO NOT use the N word. =[

2) No IM speak
It's annoying. Use your frigging fingers to type out whole words.

3) Don't annoy me.
This includes using all caps or too many punctuation marks.

This list may be added, tweaked, altered or changed later.

Now I must go running with Courtney Rose (also off FanFiction). Grrrrrrr. I'll write more later. Ta-ta for now!