Whoa.

*DISCLAIMER: AS I HAVE NOT YET WRITTEN THE FOLLOWING, IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE HEAVILY CHRISTIAN. IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME MAJOR IDEAS (MAYBE) THEN DON'T READ. AS ALWAYS, I APPRECIATE YOUR OPINIONS.*

Usually when I go to Youth Group, I sit for an hour and a half bored. Some ideas may be infused, some things may stick, but most are forgotten about by about 6:30 Sunday night, when the infamous question, "What's for dinner?" poses itself.

No. Not tonight.

Tonight, I got home, and was quiet the whole way home. You don't physically know me, most of you, so you wouldn't understand. But it's unusual for me to be quiet. I'm loud and crazy and stuff like that. But no. Silence. My mom asked about it and I'm just like, "Am I not allowed to be quiet? Must I be loud and boisterous all the time?" which, yes, sounds crazy mean when typed, but in a soft distant tone it didn't sound so mean. So, I get home and I call my friend. This has nothing to do with Christianity but I'm retelling a truth, so everything must be included. She didn't answer her phone, I left her a voicemail. Moving on. I get on my computer. And I add a playlist to iTunes. I call it "Inspirational". As I looked through iTunes, I didn't feel like listening to Davey relaying how crappy he feels. I didn't feel like listening to Demi preach about her love life in all its falls and rises. I didn't want to hear Kanye talk about his sex life. I wanted to hear Lacey talk about her rise to God. I wanted to listen to an unsigned band that no one knows explain how great his life was. I craved God at that moment. In the truest form I know, I wanted, needed to hear God's tellings. Music is how I live my life. So that's what I did. And then I got online, checked my email, and then began to blog to you this.

My youth pastor, Kim, gave me ideas today that made total sense. She explained to us dozens of ideas that I'd never before comprehended. Sex, God, hell, heaven, it all began to make sense. I left with, well, still questions. But I left with a sense that I'd not wasted an hour and a half of my life. I loooooved youth group today. It was amazing.

Mhm.

Hahahaha Nathan came back! I don't know why I find this so strange. Just the fact that anyone would want to read what a measly 15-year-old dork writes about is tremendously hilarious. Seriously.

Hahaha. Okay. Moving on.

To anyone who reads my FanFiction stories, you have permission to yell at me. I always forget, because I work on my Mac downstairs, and the computer that FanFiction likes is upstairs.

But, I'm late for play practice. So I'll blog later.

Counting.

Okay, so I already posted. But I sounded totally emo in that other post, so I'm posting again. It's my blog, dammit, and I can blog twice in one day if I want. I just wanted to give some updates on my life. Happy ones.

1. Shout-out to Taryn, who said that I needed to remember to shout-out at her! Taryn, you are an amazing person. I'd be lost in the world (and algebra!) without you.

2. Shout-out to Nathan, who somehow stumbled upon my lovely blog (And if he checks here again, would you like to explain how? Because that's sort of befuddling me...) and posted on the "9/11 Special" post. It was great to hear an older person's perspective, and especially to be able to compare and contrast it with my own account.

3. I've joined a play called "A Tale of Cinderella", where I am in the chorus. BUT. I get to dance with this really cute guy. So it all works out. =]

4. Cross country's going fine. I hate it. But it's muy bien.

5. Spanish is also going quite well!

6. My favorite class this year is Global Studies and Civics, because it is the one I can most use in my life. I think it's the most important class I'm taking this year.

7. Homecoming's coming up! It's on October 25th. No date yet. (pouts in corner)

8. I'm going to Alaska next summer to visit my aunt! I'm very excited, since out of the many states I've been to, this will be my first non-continental state.

9. I'm currently reading "Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl." It's good but dull at the same time, you know?

10. It's 10:44 PM and I am going to go to bed. Goodnight!

"Untitled" Poem

I go to school, but it's not the same.
I go through the motions, it's more like a game.
I get back home and feel alone.
I almost wish no one was even home.
I cry myself to sleep for no good reason.
I try to remember a better season.
I'm mechanically driven, so impassive.
This weight rests, oh so massive.
When will this leave me? What will console me?
What will erase all these empty memories?
Grey; a state of mind, devoid of feeling.
Pallid; a state of being, endlessly reeling.

Steal it and die.

9/11 Special

School's been going awesome. Everything is really going right sophomore year. My head is in the right spot, and I know more or less who I am. I'm really glad to be here. We got a new drama teach: his name is Mr. Morehead. He's pretty good. I just wish the class was as fun as it was last year to work with. I've also received a part in a local play: A Tale of Cinderella. I got in the chorus!

But what I'm really here to talk about is 9/11. I was 9 years old, in the third grade. I, surprisingly, remember several large points of that fateful day with perfect clarity, while the rest of the day falls unknown. I remember walking into the kitchen, and the TV was on. Now, we weren't allowed to watch TV during breakfast, cuz my brother and I would zone out and not eat. So it was strange. I do believe my mother was standing, watching the TV. I think she wore her bathrobe. She hadn't even changed.

Everything else is a fuzz. My mother explained it to me, and I, like many other kids in my grade, thought it was an accident to begin with. My mom changed that idea quickly. I got to school knowing that it was awful, what happened. All I can recall specifically from school is that this kid, Brad, said that it was, and I quote, "SO AWESOME!" That's how unreal it felt. That we could say it was awesome, like it was a movie or something.

As a side note, this Brad does not remember this moment. So clearly it meant more to me than him.

So, here's my point, let me know what you remember of this day. Did you go to school? Did your mom force you to stay home? Were you scared? Did you think it was an accident? Or, if you don't live in the United States, please let me know whether you heard at all, and what you thought.

I look forward to hearing all of your stories...

Ah Bay Say

I haven't checked in in a while! Basically I started school, so I've been way busy. But it is now FRIDAY so I'm excitered. =] I went to the first football game today. It was dull, but I had fun with my friends. The score was 40-20 (we kicked their asses =]). So now I'm sitting at home doing nothing. I should be cleaning my room...

In other news, I auditioned for a play and got a spot in the chorus. Better than nothing, right???

Alrighty...so if you read this, you should comment. I want to know how many consistent readers I have. =]