My Opinions of "Breaking Dawn"

BEWARE OF OBVIOUS SPOILERS AND WHAT WILL BE CONSTRUED AS "TWILIGHT-SUCKS" THOUGHTS!

AS A RESULT OF THE ABOVE COMMENT, I WILL MAKE MY OPINIONS SMALLER SO PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL EXCITED TO READ IT WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED MY MY REVIEW!

I, of course, bought the Eclipse Special Edition, hoping that that first chapter would be a signal that good things will coming. This chapter went back to its roots. In Eclipse, you were on the edge of your seat with wonder as to what happens in Seattle that's so significant. In New Moon, you couldn't wait to see whether someone would bite Bella and she would turn vamp right there and then. But, in Twilight, at least you were wondering what was up with this Edward Cullen dude. In Breaking Dawn, you're just bored. The wedding scene slightly picks up, but then the honeymoon scene. GAH. I didn't really like it. It seemed dumb to me, the way they did it. And then it seemed like Bella turned into a sex fiend afterward. Even the quote of the day "Why am I covered in feathers?" turned into not being as funny as it could have been. There wasn't much funny about any part of this book, maybe just a couple parts. Not nearly as witty as its predecessors.

Then it splits into parts! We end the first part with a desperate call to Rosalie, because, guess what! Bella's pregnant! Yes, indeedy-o, folks! Pregnant! All those times you reviewed a FanFiction story saying, "This can't happen! Stephenie Meyer says it can't!" Well, she lied. The whole first part actually reads a lot like a FanFiction story. Don't get me wrong! If you put this on FanFiction.net, you would definitely like it! But I've read so many Bella-pregnant stories that it seemed like I'd already read Breaking Dawn Part One.

Part Two gets better. This isn't from Bella's perspective. It's from Jacob's. Now, when Stephenie plunged us into Jacob's POV in Eclipse, it felt awkward because you were soooooo used to reading from Bella's perspective. This time, watching Jacob's perspective is appreciated after the annoyance Bella has been to me. He supplies good sarcasm, good ideas, and is just a good person. However, Bella still managed to get on my nerves in this section. Stephenie did something that's purely FanFiction material: she stole lines from a TV show! You never do that! It annoyed me to no end! And Rosalie! GOD! The only thing she cares about is Bella's baby, even though that baby is killing her from the inside out. She pissed me off too. And Alice wasn't even there! This whole section could've been much worse if told from Bella's perspective, but since it's from Jacob, it's OK.


Part Three really picks up. FINALLY Edward changes her. Everthing's just as you expect it to be: Bella is hardly tempted by human blood, Edward loves her, the Volturi come. So, there's a couple twists, I guess. The Volturi just come to kill Bella's daughter, because they think she is an immortal child. And Jacob finally imprints! On who? Bella's DAUGHTER. OME.

So, basically? Breaking Dawn? A 700 page long FanFiction.

Sorry Twi-hards.

Sorry Stephenie Meyer. Sincerely and completely.

Let's hope the next thing we're waiting for, The Twilight Movie, will be better, because I didn't like it.

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